Wow what a year! It was scary learning about myself while going through
the world fear of Covid. I was trying everything not to get sick,
getting mv lights, masks, gloves, anti bacterial gel, wiping down myself
and clothes. I decided not to watch tv and stopped that on cable, only
using the internet and phone. The one thing I found was Netflix, Starz,
Acorn  and some free channels and started binge watching shows.

I learned how to food shop online and get things delivered. It was a
life saver when the weather was bad, I was helping someone with a job.

Prior to that I tried learning about NJ and the places we could go
safely online and started going out with my sons, little by little. We
all wore masks, and had sanitizer. I wasn’t going to let it rule my life
with fear  and keep me from exploring.  I started an album of places I
visited with them on facebook. There is so much to explore. Every week
or so we find new places to visit. It first was only in NJ, then slowly
NY state, PA, and CT.  I am the only driver so I try and keep driving
short distances.

My youngest son graduated high school last year. There were no programs
for him to join so he was on the computer a lot. There was no one to help
with his skills. At that time he wasn’t comfortable doing zoom. Even
during a speech session. That took a long time for him and all of us to
figure out.

My middle son wasn’t comfortable at work because of the Covid cases that
were happening in NJ, so he was able to take a temporary leave for a
while without leaving his special needs job placement. He was able to
finally get back in after a year and be put back on the schedule.

I am so thankful that we all were able to get Covid shots through the
Women’s club in town and their scheduling with the vaccination centers.

My youngest son was finally able to go to speech in person for the first
time in over a year along with my middle son going to social
programs.The vacation is put off to next year for Scotland and England
during the summer. We take it day by day. I also have a family wedding
this year, and one next year.

I am also learning more about Respite companie’s care for my sons, and
the companies that can help both of them. One son is covered by his plan
and one isn’t and will pay. One is for social recreation reasons, and
the other is for behavioral ones getting back to a schedule with a
program for the future while more things open up.

I learned more about my fear of painting and starting from scratch a
blank canvas. That to trust myself and to breathe let it go and look
what happened, I survived. Now I am comfortable with myself and drawing
and painting. I surprised myself and started writing poems again and
editing my stories that I haven’t finished.